This situation in Russia is a huge mess. I tried to not get overly worried about it. However the more I read and watch the media coverage on it the more... hmmm... uneasy, aggrivated, annoyed, angry, and frustrated (that should cover it) that I get. I not am not going to sit here and attack the woman that started this frenzy. I don't know her and what she was dealing with. I do feel that her choices were serious misjudgements. Her choices have made a massive impact on so many others right now. Her choices have envoked panic in so many of us that are in mid process of Russian adoptions. Let me be a little more frank than that...her choices have led to a situation that has ripped our hearts out for the moment. I know that we personally are finally to a point of just waiting on that glorious phone call anyday. Others were further along than we are and have already held their little ones, they have already given their hearts to them and are just waiting to get them home. I really think that I hurt for those people more than I hurt for myself right now.
I let myself get really frustrated last night. I allowed myelf to go into negativity and get into "poor me" status and question the Lord. I quickly realized that is exactly what the devil would want me to do. So I dried my eyes, and apologized to the man upstairs for my moment of weakness. God did not bring us this far to leave us hanging. He doesn't take you down a road then say "I got you this far, now you are on your own". Not the God I serve! He follows through! He will not leave us hanging....he will carry us and get us through!
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Friday, April 9, 2010
A Major Prayer Request
I just recieved an email from our adoption coordinator to inform us of a major situation that is brewing with Russian adoptions. There is a situation with a mother that adopted a young boy from Russia and it seems as though she sent him back. The story has been covered in the media. Well Russia is quite upset over what has transpired and they are threatening to shut down all adoptions from American citizens. It would appear that for right now they are suspending all of their foreign adoptions. We beg of anyone out there reading this to please pray that this matter gets resolved and gets resolved quickly. I just don't have any words right now. I know that we serve a God that is way bigger than this and I know that he will intervene and resolve these issues. I just ask that everyone join in with us for pray not just for our adoption but for those others out there that have met there little ones and patiently waiting to get them home. This could take months and months to get resolved, and it may never get resolved. So please pray that God intervenes and this problem gets solved very quickly!
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Happy Belated Easter!
Easter has come and gone and I have had every intention of doing an Easter post but have failed to follow through. I love Easter and all that it stands for.
Let me take a few steps back and be very open and honest. This waiting thing is really taking a toll on me. I didn't think that it was going to be this hard. In all honesty it wasn't so bad until March. I am so ready to hear something, I am just so tired of waiting. I'm beyond ready to get our referral and to get our babi(es) home. Just to think that they are out there and we can't do one thing to get them home right now can be agonizing at times. Then to have Easter, Mother's Day, and Father's Day all right here together....just let me say it is tough.
So I have been battling myself with this waiting phase and it is just wearing me out. Sunday, as I was sitting in church, our drama team did a drama to the song "Arise My Love". Just let me say that is one powerful song and our drama team did a fantastic job. As I was watching them, I began to think of all the pain and suffering that Jesus went through on the cross and how agonizing that it was for him. The Lord allowed him to endure that pain and suffering for a greater cause. So, I say all that just to say this: If Jesus can go through everything that he went through on the cross for me...then I can most certainly go through this waiting phase with a positive attitude!
Let me take a few steps back and be very open and honest. This waiting thing is really taking a toll on me. I didn't think that it was going to be this hard. In all honesty it wasn't so bad until March. I am so ready to hear something, I am just so tired of waiting. I'm beyond ready to get our referral and to get our babi(es) home. Just to think that they are out there and we can't do one thing to get them home right now can be agonizing at times. Then to have Easter, Mother's Day, and Father's Day all right here together....just let me say it is tough.
So I have been battling myself with this waiting phase and it is just wearing me out. Sunday, as I was sitting in church, our drama team did a drama to the song "Arise My Love". Just let me say that is one powerful song and our drama team did a fantastic job. As I was watching them, I began to think of all the pain and suffering that Jesus went through on the cross and how agonizing that it was for him. The Lord allowed him to endure that pain and suffering for a greater cause. So, I say all that just to say this: If Jesus can go through everything that he went through on the cross for me...then I can most certainly go through this waiting phase with a positive attitude!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
More of this waiting stuff...
I know that it has once again been a while since I last blogged. I am going to cram several weeks into one blog so forgive me for the lengthiness. It has been a long and tough month. Yet I still find myself way to blessed to complain about it. One of my most dear BFF’s has faced a major tragedy within the last month. Despite the loss that she has faced, she has shown amazing strength, courage and dignity. She has been such an inspiration to me and I don’t think that I could possibly admire her more than I do right now. Her strength and grace has made such a big impression on me and how in spite of what life hands you…God is still almighty and will get us through even the most difficult of times (which I already knew, but seeing it in action has been amazing).
Benji has been out of town this week. This is the first time that we have been apart in many, many years. Even when we were dating for the last 2-3 years, we still saw each other every day. Now we have been married for eight years and have never been apart. I am thankful that we are the type of couple that can be together and not “need” to be away from each other. I am more thankful that this week is almost over, because I am so ready for him to be home. I made cookies, vacuum sealed them and snuck them in his suitcase, and I had a letter with pictures for each night that he was gone. (which my BFF has picked on me so bad about). I was missing him before he was even gone. I don’t see how people that travel often do it. One week has almost made me a crazy person.
Before he left, I asked if by chance we did happen to get a referral while he was gone, would he rather I tell him over the phone or would he rather I wait until he gets home and tell him in person. He asked that I wait until he gets home so that I could tell him when we were together. When he was getting ready for the trip, I was hoping that we wouldn’t get a referral when he was gone because I didn’t want to have to wait to tell him. Now that it is here, I really do wish that I had such a surprise to give him when he gets home. It would have been a great treat after a long week.
We did get a call back on an adoption grant. We have sent several off and have not received one yet. So we are super excited to get a call back on one. We are just praying that something works out with it.
That’s all I have for now. Hopefully I’ll have something more one day soon. But for now we will continue to patiently wait…..
Benji has been out of town this week. This is the first time that we have been apart in many, many years. Even when we were dating for the last 2-3 years, we still saw each other every day. Now we have been married for eight years and have never been apart. I am thankful that we are the type of couple that can be together and not “need” to be away from each other. I am more thankful that this week is almost over, because I am so ready for him to be home. I made cookies, vacuum sealed them and snuck them in his suitcase, and I had a letter with pictures for each night that he was gone. (which my BFF has picked on me so bad about). I was missing him before he was even gone. I don’t see how people that travel often do it. One week has almost made me a crazy person.
Before he left, I asked if by chance we did happen to get a referral while he was gone, would he rather I tell him over the phone or would he rather I wait until he gets home and tell him in person. He asked that I wait until he gets home so that I could tell him when we were together. When he was getting ready for the trip, I was hoping that we wouldn’t get a referral when he was gone because I didn’t want to have to wait to tell him. Now that it is here, I really do wish that I had such a surprise to give him when he gets home. It would have been a great treat after a long week.
We did get a call back on an adoption grant. We have sent several off and have not received one yet. So we are super excited to get a call back on one. We are just praying that something works out with it.
That’s all I have for now. Hopefully I’ll have something more one day soon. But for now we will continue to patiently wait…..
Monday, March 8, 2010
*sigh* Waiting
It does seem like quite a while since I last blogged. There is just nothing new on the adoption front…just a whole lot of waiting…which by the way is really beginning to drive me crazy. The first couple of months seemed to just zip by, but now it seems as though time is just creeping along. I am trying to just be patient and wait in the Lord, but heavens to Betsy it is getting hard. I do try to not let it enter my mind but the thought that our baby(ies) are out there growing each and every day somewhere other than at home with us, can be an agonizing thought at times. However, we are going to get there, I just have to keep my patience (which is most definitely not one of my virtues) in check.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Counting the days
So, this waiting thing is only getting harder. I really try to not allow myself to think about it much. If I do, I will drive myself slap nuts. I have never liked the unknown very much. "Unknowns" don't fit very well with a slightly OCD (only kidding, I really don't think I am all that OCD...I just like certain things certain ways, HA!!), planner that tries to be very proactive with things, like myself. I wish that I just knew something. Just a little morsel of info that would help me prepare a little better, like how old will our child be? Will it be a girl or a boy? A closer time frame? Will we get one or two? These unknowns are making me feel like a crazy person at times.
I do have one source of comfort in this crazy process....my desk calender. I know that sounds insane. However, each day, I come into work and put a big "X" across the previous day. I sit back and think to myself "that is one day closer to bringing home our baby/babies". No, I am not trying to wish my life away here, I promise. But just to know that each day that passes is one day closer to getting our family home just makes me smile. I love coming in on Mondays and getting to cross out 3 whole days...it makes it seem like such a big leap to get to our "Gotcha" day. It is like Christmas to tear a month off the calender and start a whole new month:)
I do have one source of comfort in this crazy process....my desk calender. I know that sounds insane. However, each day, I come into work and put a big "X" across the previous day. I sit back and think to myself "that is one day closer to bringing home our baby/babies". No, I am not trying to wish my life away here, I promise. But just to know that each day that passes is one day closer to getting our family home just makes me smile. I love coming in on Mondays and getting to cross out 3 whole days...it makes it seem like such a big leap to get to our "Gotcha" day. It is like Christmas to tear a month off the calender and start a whole new month:)
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
More Randomness
Not much new going on but a few things that have made me smile and just wanted to make not of them. So here goes a few things that are going on that have made me so very happy:
1) Benji got a contract on a house and another in the works: It is not a very big commission but we are so thankful for it. Last year the real estate market was terrible in our town. When we began our adoption, we were counting on real estate to help us to be able to afford it. Well, real estate sales have not really come through lately but we are so so grateful that it is picking up as our greatest financial resposibility is soon to come. The Lord has always provided exactly what we needed and when we needed it. We went to an adoption seminar back in December and one of the speakers was saying that when they were talking about adoption they asked each other, "How are we going to afford it?" The other's response we "We aren't God is!". That has stuck with me ever since. Because honestly, we can't afford it, but we serve a God that can! We give him all the praise and glory for getting us this far as well as what he is still doing and going to do to help us get our baby/babies home.
2) Our crib bedding came in. YAY!! I know that it is a little too early to get this considering that we have no clue if we will get a boy or a girl. However, it was the only bedding that I have found that I love for a little boy and it was being discontinued so I went on and got it (on sale mind you) and if we end up not needing it then there is alway Ebay, right? I love the bedding though and was so tickled when it came in.
3) Along with that crib bedding, Benji and my daddy have decided that they are going to build a crib themselves. Yes, that does partly scare me, but my BFF's hubby built their crib and it is gorgeous! I am a sentimental kinda gal, and what could be more sentimental than your hubby and your daddy handmaking a crib?
4) I am thankful for my jobs. I honestly love my jobs. As we are getting closer to bringing home our babi(es), I know that I am going to have to give up two of my jobs. That excites me yet kinda makes me sad. Job # 1 (which I will definately be keeping) I have worked at since I was 15. I love what I do, but most importantly I love who I work with. For one, I work with my daddy. This to some could be a terrible thing but it works for us, and I would have it no other way. Secondly, I work with Renee. She has been there since the stone ages (kidding). We may drive each other insane at times, but I love her dearly. She is much more than a co-worker to me...she is family! She is kind of like my sister from anther mister. HA!! Job#2 I enjoy very much. I don't have to work very hard, and I get the opportunity to meet all kinds of people (sometimes that is a good thing sometimes it is not). Job # 3, has really come to mean a lot to me. I teach GED classes part-time. I love my students very much. They are all such wonderful people. Most of them really only need someone to root for them. It's not at all that they are quitters, or bad people. Most of the time, it's just a matter of others giving up on them. They just need someone in their corner to love them and help build their confidence, from where it has once been damaged. It makes me really sad to know that soon I will be leaving them. I just hope and pray that I was able to make a difference in some of their lives, because most of them have certainly made a difference in mine!
1) Benji got a contract on a house and another in the works: It is not a very big commission but we are so thankful for it. Last year the real estate market was terrible in our town. When we began our adoption, we were counting on real estate to help us to be able to afford it. Well, real estate sales have not really come through lately but we are so so grateful that it is picking up as our greatest financial resposibility is soon to come. The Lord has always provided exactly what we needed and when we needed it. We went to an adoption seminar back in December and one of the speakers was saying that when they were talking about adoption they asked each other, "How are we going to afford it?" The other's response we "We aren't God is!". That has stuck with me ever since. Because honestly, we can't afford it, but we serve a God that can! We give him all the praise and glory for getting us this far as well as what he is still doing and going to do to help us get our baby/babies home.
2) Our crib bedding came in. YAY!! I know that it is a little too early to get this considering that we have no clue if we will get a boy or a girl. However, it was the only bedding that I have found that I love for a little boy and it was being discontinued so I went on and got it (on sale mind you) and if we end up not needing it then there is alway Ebay, right? I love the bedding though and was so tickled when it came in.
3) Along with that crib bedding, Benji and my daddy have decided that they are going to build a crib themselves. Yes, that does partly scare me, but my BFF's hubby built their crib and it is gorgeous! I am a sentimental kinda gal, and what could be more sentimental than your hubby and your daddy handmaking a crib?
4) I am thankful for my jobs. I honestly love my jobs. As we are getting closer to bringing home our babi(es), I know that I am going to have to give up two of my jobs. That excites me yet kinda makes me sad. Job # 1 (which I will definately be keeping) I have worked at since I was 15. I love what I do, but most importantly I love who I work with. For one, I work with my daddy. This to some could be a terrible thing but it works for us, and I would have it no other way. Secondly, I work with Renee. She has been there since the stone ages (kidding). We may drive each other insane at times, but I love her dearly. She is much more than a co-worker to me...she is family! She is kind of like my sister from anther mister. HA!! Job#2 I enjoy very much. I don't have to work very hard, and I get the opportunity to meet all kinds of people (sometimes that is a good thing sometimes it is not). Job # 3, has really come to mean a lot to me. I teach GED classes part-time. I love my students very much. They are all such wonderful people. Most of them really only need someone to root for them. It's not at all that they are quitters, or bad people. Most of the time, it's just a matter of others giving up on them. They just need someone in their corner to love them and help build their confidence, from where it has once been damaged. It makes me really sad to know that soon I will be leaving them. I just hope and pray that I was able to make a difference in some of their lives, because most of them have certainly made a difference in mine!
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