More of this waiting stuff...

I know that it has once again been a while since I last blogged. I am going to cram several weeks into one blog so forgive me for the lengthiness. It has been a long and tough month. Yet I still find myself way to blessed to complain about it. One of my most dear BFF’s has faced a major tragedy within the last month. Despite the loss that she has faced, she has shown amazing strength, courage and dignity. She has been such an inspiration to me and I don’t think that I could possibly admire her more than I do right now. Her strength and grace has made such a big impression on me and how in spite of what life hands you…God is still almighty and will get us through even the most difficult of times (which I already knew, but seeing it in action has been amazing).
Benji has been out of town this week. This is the first time that we have been apart in many, many years. Even when we were dating for the last 2-3 years, we still saw each other every day. Now we have been married for eight years and have never been apart. I am thankful that we are the type of couple that can be together and not “need” to be away from each other. I am more thankful that this week is almost over, because I am so ready for him to be home. I made cookies, vacuum sealed them and snuck them in his suitcase, and I had a letter with pictures for each night that he was gone. (which my BFF has picked on me so bad about). I was missing him before he was even gone. I don’t see how people that travel often do it. One week has almost made me a crazy person.
Before he left, I asked if by chance we did happen to get a referral while he was gone, would he rather I tell him over the phone or would he rather I wait until he gets home and tell him in person. He asked that I wait until he gets home so that I could tell him when we were together. When he was getting ready for the trip, I was hoping that we wouldn’t get a referral when he was gone because I didn’t want to have to wait to tell him. Now that it is here, I really do wish that I had such a surprise to give him when he gets home. It would have been a great treat after a long week.
We did get a call back on an adoption grant. We have sent several off and have not received one yet. So we are super excited to get a call back on one. We are just praying that something works out with it.
That’s all I have for now. Hopefully I’ll have something more one day soon. But for now we will continue to patiently wait…..

*sigh* Waiting

It does seem like quite a while since I last blogged. There is just nothing new on the adoption front…just a whole lot of waiting…which by the way is really beginning to drive me crazy. The first couple of months seemed to just zip by, but now it seems as though time is just creeping along. I am trying to just be patient and wait in the Lord, but heavens to Betsy it is getting hard. I do try to not let it enter my mind but the thought that our baby(ies) are out there growing each and every day somewhere other than at home with us, can be an agonizing thought at times. However, we are going to get there, I just have to keep my patience (which is most definitely not one of my virtues) in check.

Counting the days

So, this waiting thing is only getting harder. I really try to not allow myself to think about it much. If I do, I will drive myself slap nuts. I have never liked the unknown very much. "Unknowns" don't fit very well with a slightly OCD (only kidding, I really don't think I am all that OCD...I just like certain things certain ways, HA!!), planner that tries to be very proactive with things, like myself. I wish that I just knew something. Just a little morsel of info that would help me prepare a little better, like how old will our child be? Will it be a girl or a boy? A closer time frame? Will we get one or two? These unknowns are making me feel like a crazy person at times.
I do have one source of comfort in this crazy process....my desk calender. I know that sounds insane. However, each day, I come into work and put a big "X" across the previous day. I sit back and think to myself "that is one day closer to bringing home our baby/babies". No, I am not trying to wish my life away here, I promise. But just to know that each day that passes is one day closer to getting our family home just makes me smile. I love coming in on Mondays and getting to cross out 3 whole days...it makes it seem like such a big leap to get to our "Gotcha" day. It is like Christmas to tear a month off the calender and start a whole new month:)

More Randomness

Not much new going on but a few things that have made me smile and just wanted to make not of them. So here goes a few things that are going on that have made me so very happy:

1) Benji got a contract on a house and another in the works: It is not a very big commission but we are so thankful for it. Last year the real estate market was terrible in our town. When we began our adoption, we were counting on real estate to help us to be able to afford it. Well, real estate sales have not really come through lately but we are so so grateful that it is picking up as our greatest financial resposibility is soon to come. The Lord has always provided exactly what we needed and when we needed it. We went to an adoption seminar back in December and one of the speakers was saying that when they were talking about adoption they asked each other, "How are we going to afford it?" The other's response we "We aren't God is!". That has stuck with me ever since. Because honestly, we can't afford it, but we serve a God that can! We give him all the praise and glory for getting us this far as well as what he is still doing and going to do to help us get our baby/babies home.

2) Our crib bedding came in. YAY!! I know that it is a little too early to get this considering that we have no clue if we will get a boy or a girl. However, it was the only bedding that I have found that I love for a little boy and it was being discontinued so I went on and got it (on sale mind you) and if we end up not needing it then there is alway Ebay, right? I love the bedding though and was so tickled when it came in.

3) Along with that crib bedding, Benji and my daddy have decided that they are going to build a crib themselves. Yes, that does partly scare me, but my BFF's hubby built their crib and it is gorgeous! I am a sentimental kinda gal, and what could be more sentimental than your hubby and your daddy handmaking a crib?
4) I am thankful for my jobs. I honestly love my jobs. As we are getting closer to bringing home our babi(es), I know that I am going to have to give up two of my jobs. That excites me yet kinda makes me sad. Job # 1 (which I will definately be keeping) I have worked at since I was 15. I love what I do, but most importantly I love who I work with. For one, I work with my daddy. This to some could be a terrible thing but it works for us, and I would have it no other way. Secondly, I work with Renee. She has been there since the stone ages (kidding). We may drive each other insane at times, but I love her dearly. She is much more than a co-worker to me...she is family! She is kind of like my sister from anther mister. HA!! Job#2 I enjoy very much. I don't have to work very hard, and I get the opportunity to meet all kinds of people (sometimes that is a good thing sometimes it is not). Job # 3, has really come to mean a lot to me. I teach GED classes part-time. I love my students very much. They are all such wonderful people. Most of them really only need someone to root for them. It's not at all that they are quitters, or bad people. Most of the time, it's just a matter of others giving up on them. They just need someone in their corner to love them and help build their confidence, from where it has once been damaged. It makes me really sad to know that soon I will be leaving them. I just hope and pray that I was able to make a difference in some of their lives, because most of them have certainly made a difference in mine!

One of my favorite roles in life

I have many roles in my life right now. My most prized titles in life are wife, daughter, sister and friend, and soon to add...mother. I have one other title in life that blesses me to no end....Aunt. Benji and I have 10 nieces and nephews and they each are such blessings in our lives. We love each and every one as if they were our own and there is nothing in this world that we would not do for any one of them. We have some that are almost grown and we are incredibly proud of them and all that they have accomplished. We have some that are still pretty young and they bring tons of joy to us. There is nothing that melts my heart more than hearing "Shanny (as most of them call me) will you play with me". Our nieces and nephews are so precious to us and we are so thankful that we are blessed with each and every one of them. Our little one has some pretty awesome cousins to come home to.

Count your daily blessings

I talked to a very dear old friend yesterday who shared with me some of a bible study that she is going through. She was telling me about being happy where you are because God has you there for a reason. She was also discussing to be aware and grateful for God’s daily blessings and miracles. Each and every day is filled with blessings and miracles from the Lord, and often we are so caught up in the craziness of life that we often become oblivious to the things that God does for us on a daily basis. Thanks for the chat Hannah! Love ya!
I also have noticed one of my former students posts a “daily happy” on her Facebook several times a week. What an awesome attitude to have! Thanks Lana! Thus making me think about how each and every day brings many “happys” that often do go unnoticed. I am making it my personal mission (however, I may not often post them) to seek the blessings and miracles that the Lord provides me every day.
Todays blessing: I just found out that my friend Tara and her hubby (mentioned in my previous post), just received their approval with AWAA (our adoption agency)! There was a little snag there for a bit, but the Lord was ever faithful and completely worked it out. We are so excited for them, and thanking the Lord in advanced for all that he is going to do and provide to help them bring home their little one!

We are registered!

I just spoke with Johnna and she informed me that we were officially registered! This may not mean much for some but for us it is another huge milestone reached. It means that we are officially just waiting to get the call any day now. Realistically, it will still be a few more months before we actually receive our referral, but we are so thrilled to have finally reached this milestone, and the thought that it “could” happen any day now is so exciting to us. The Lord has brought us a long way. We have dealt with so many emotional battles in this process, but he has never left our side, he has guided us through each and every step. We are just so thankful to be where we are today and to have the support and love of so many family and friends. We truly couldn’t be here without the constant love and support of you guys, we love you all and are so thankful that you are there to build us up when we are crumbling, and you are there when we have exciting news to share.
I do want to take a minute to ask for prayer for a friend of mine, whom I just recently met but is very near and dear to our hearts. She and her husband are just beginning the adoption process and are feeling some of the emotional ups and downs right now. I just ask that anyone reading this take a minute to say a quick prayer that everything works out for them and that they get their approval soon.