Sunday, January 24, 2010

One of my favorite roles in life

I have many roles in my life right now. My most prized titles in life are wife, daughter, sister and friend, and soon to add...mother. I have one other title in life that blesses me to no end....Aunt. Benji and I have 10 nieces and nephews and they each are such blessings in our lives. We love each and every one as if they were our own and there is nothing in this world that we would not do for any one of them. We have some that are almost grown and we are incredibly proud of them and all that they have accomplished. We have some that are still pretty young and they bring tons of joy to us. There is nothing that melts my heart more than hearing "Shanny (as most of them call me) will you play with me". Our nieces and nephews are so precious to us and we are so thankful that we are blessed with each and every one of them. Our little one has some pretty awesome cousins to come home to.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Count your daily blessings

I talked to a very dear old friend yesterday who shared with me some of a bible study that she is going through. She was telling me about being happy where you are because God has you there for a reason. She was also discussing to be aware and grateful for God’s daily blessings and miracles. Each and every day is filled with blessings and miracles from the Lord, and often we are so caught up in the craziness of life that we often become oblivious to the things that God does for us on a daily basis. Thanks for the chat Hannah! Love ya!
I also have noticed one of my former students posts a “daily happy” on her Facebook several times a week. What an awesome attitude to have! Thanks Lana! Thus making me think about how each and every day brings many “happys” that often do go unnoticed. I am making it my personal mission (however, I may not often post them) to seek the blessings and miracles that the Lord provides me every day.
Todays blessing: I just found out that my friend Tara and her hubby (mentioned in my previous post), just received their approval with AWAA (our adoption agency)! There was a little snag there for a bit, but the Lord was ever faithful and completely worked it out. We are so excited for them, and thanking the Lord in advanced for all that he is going to do and provide to help them bring home their little one!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

We are registered!

I just spoke with Johnna and she informed me that we were officially registered! This may not mean much for some but for us it is another huge milestone reached. It means that we are officially just waiting to get the call any day now. Realistically, it will still be a few more months before we actually receive our referral, but we are so thrilled to have finally reached this milestone, and the thought that it “could” happen any day now is so exciting to us. The Lord has brought us a long way. We have dealt with so many emotional battles in this process, but he has never left our side, he has guided us through each and every step. We are just so thankful to be where we are today and to have the support and love of so many family and friends. We truly couldn’t be here without the constant love and support of you guys, we love you all and are so thankful that you are there to build us up when we are crumbling, and you are there when we have exciting news to share.
I do want to take a minute to ask for prayer for a friend of mine, whom I just recently met but is very near and dear to our hearts. She and her husband are just beginning the adoption process and are feeling some of the emotional ups and downs right now. I just ask that anyone reading this take a minute to say a quick prayer that everything works out for them and that they get their approval soon.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Anniversary Date!

So today not only marks the anniversary of 8 years of my marriage to one heck of a wonderful guy, it also marks the one year anniversary of the day that we put in the mail all the documents and payments that began this adoption journey. To be honest, I thought that we would have traveled halfway across the world and brought home our bundle of joy by now, but it hasn't worked out quite as I had thought it would a year ago. The ride thus far has been quite bumpy, but we are so thankful to be in the "waiting" phase. We are excited for what the Lord has in store for us, and we will patiently wait until he blesses us with the child/children that he has for us. We are looking forward to hopefully spending our next anniversary with a family of our own.

Monday, January 11, 2010

More randomness...but just what's on my heart

Loyalty is one of the most important character traits to me. I might not have much to offer others in my life, but I can assure you that those that I let get close to me will receive 100% of loyalty from me. I don’t let too many people close enough to know the real me. Vulnerability and weakness is not something that I share with too many people. I am very private. By keeping my inner most thoughts and feelings to myself, I may appear to be cold at times. If I appear to be cold then you don’t know the real me. There are only a few people that I have been very open enough with to know the real me and what I am really feeling and what I am really going through… those few people know who you are and thank you for allowing me to be me. Good, bad or indifferent, you allow me to be me. You take me as I am, you are happy when I am happy, you endure my many quirks (and I am well aware that I have many quirks, HA!) , and you allow me to be mad when I need to be mad. Those who know me know that I do get mad (as everyone does) but I never stay mad long, and those who know me know that all you have to do is make me laugh and I am quickly out of a funk. I believe that laugher is the best medicine. I love to laugh and have a good time. I love to joke and be goofy. To be honest, if people take me too seriously… they probably wouldn’t like me very much. The point that I am trying to make is that it is okay to get mad from time to time. It is perfectly normal. The problem lies when you get mad but you can’t get over it. Life is just too short for that. If you want to waste weeks on end being angry at others then you have wasted too much time and gotten nowhere. I am making a choice in my life and have for a few years now, and have never been a happier person because of it, to allow myself to be mad when I need to be, it’s an okay emotion to have. However, take my day or so to be mad then throw it behind me and move forward.
When I love, I love with everything in me. There is nothing in the world that I wouldn’t do for those in which I love. On the same hand, when someone that I love is hurt…I hurt. I don’t take lightly to it either. If someone hurts my family or my friends, I don’t sit back and take it. I will fight for those I love (of course I don’t mean physically). As a child, I was very attached to my parents, and still am for that matter, hence I live next door to them and I work for my dad. My family is my true heart (and there are some friends that fall in this family category….I am not on board with the old saying “blood is thicker than water, personally I think that is just hogwash!). If you want to see me turn into a pit bull real quick, then mess with my husband or my parents. I have always been quick to jump to my brother’s defense, even when I probably shouldn’t but he’s my brother and I can’t stand to see him hurt. My sister never really needed defending. She was always the type that could handle her own. I always admired that about her, and thus that desire to be a stronger person like her, has partly made me who I am today. For that I am thankful.
I am a flawed individual, but have yet to meet a person that is perfect. I admit that I am flawed but will not apologize for it because it is what makes me who I am. I do the very best that I can in life, and am proud of the person that I am. Even more than that I am thankful for those that the Lord has placed in my life that have helped me, supported me, guided me, loved me, and shaped me into the person that I am today. I don’t stand where I am today on my own merit, and I don’t for one minute take for granted those who have impacted my life the most.
In conclusion, as we are gearing up to hopefully soon become parents, I am so thankful that my child will be blessed with the same people that God has blessed me with to help steer and guide them in their life. I want my child to know that emotions are a good thing; it’s how you deal with them that you have to be aware of. I am not always the best with dealing with my emotions, but life is about learning. I want to raise my children to be able to express themselves. I want them to have the liberty to say what they are feeling, and to always be up front and honest. I want for them to always know that if they are going to say something about someone they need to be willing and able to say it to them, get it off their chest and then move forward. I pray that they have the courage to stand up for what is right and to support others in their lives, as I know they will have tons of support in their lives.
I know this is very random, but it really several independent thoughts jumbled into one. I tried to make sense of each thought but it didn't quite come together as I had intended. None the less it is from my heart.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Happy New Year!

Yes, I do realize that I am only 6 days late on saying that. For the past couple years, my parents have taken us all to the mountains for New Years. So we were able to have some time to unwind from the holidays and get some much needed R&R. Thanks daddy and mama, we truly had a blast!!

Having the time in the mountains to just chill out with nothing to do, no where to go, reminded us what life should be about. Right now, our lives are as chaotic as ever. Benji is working 2 jobs (and looking to get a third until we get our little one home), I am working 3 jobs and doing some cake decorating/catering on the side. We both know that we are doing this to hopefully be more financially prepared when we get our little one, as well as to be able to afford this adoption. However, having a break and some time off from work made me miss having a "normal" life. It has made me long more so than ever for the day that we have our little one (and we are well aware that our lives will still be quite chaotic), but I am so ready to be able to spend more time at home with my family. But for now, I will keep on keeping on. I will continue to work as hard as I can just to get our little one home.

I must say that up to this point I have been very patient in the "waiting" phase. I think that I knew that it was impossible to know anything in 2009 so there was no need in thinking about it. Then 2010 rolled in and I have just been so excited. I am hoping and praying with everything in me that this is going to be our year! Better yet, I am trusting in the Lord that this is going to be our year. To be perfectly honest, I don't think that I have it in me to stomach one more Mother's Day, Father's Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving...and heaven forbid another Christmas without a little one. I know that the Lord will provide me the strength to endure anything...and he sure has thus far. I truly don't mean to sound gloomy at all, because I don't feel gloomy. I just feel that I have grown more anxious than ever once 2010 began. We are almost 3 months into the waiting phase, and I feel sure that we still have a little ways to go, however, the thought that each passing day/week is just one day/week closer to bringing home our baby, is truly a good feeling.
I have even ordered our crib bedding already. I do realize that I am jumping the gun a little, but what I loved is being discontinued and I figured if it isn't something that we can use once we get our little one then there is always EBay, right? HA!

So here is to a great New Year to everyone. I hope that 2010 is one of the happiest and most fruitful years ever for you and your loved ones. God Bless you all throughout 2010, and may you all be blessed beyond measure!