More randomness...but just what's on my heart

Loyalty is one of the most important character traits to me. I might not have much to offer others in my life, but I can assure you that those that I let get close to me will receive 100% of loyalty from me. I don’t let too many people close enough to know the real me. Vulnerability and weakness is not something that I share with too many people. I am very private. By keeping my inner most thoughts and feelings to myself, I may appear to be cold at times. If I appear to be cold then you don’t know the real me. There are only a few people that I have been very open enough with to know the real me and what I am really feeling and what I am really going through… those few people know who you are and thank you for allowing me to be me. Good, bad or indifferent, you allow me to be me. You take me as I am, you are happy when I am happy, you endure my many quirks (and I am well aware that I have many quirks, HA!) , and you allow me to be mad when I need to be mad. Those who know me know that I do get mad (as everyone does) but I never stay mad long, and those who know me know that all you have to do is make me laugh and I am quickly out of a funk. I believe that laugher is the best medicine. I love to laugh and have a good time. I love to joke and be goofy. To be honest, if people take me too seriously… they probably wouldn’t like me very much. The point that I am trying to make is that it is okay to get mad from time to time. It is perfectly normal. The problem lies when you get mad but you can’t get over it. Life is just too short for that. If you want to waste weeks on end being angry at others then you have wasted too much time and gotten nowhere. I am making a choice in my life and have for a few years now, and have never been a happier person because of it, to allow myself to be mad when I need to be, it’s an okay emotion to have. However, take my day or so to be mad then throw it behind me and move forward.
When I love, I love with everything in me. There is nothing in the world that I wouldn’t do for those in which I love. On the same hand, when someone that I love is hurt…I hurt. I don’t take lightly to it either. If someone hurts my family or my friends, I don’t sit back and take it. I will fight for those I love (of course I don’t mean physically). As a child, I was very attached to my parents, and still am for that matter, hence I live next door to them and I work for my dad. My family is my true heart (and there are some friends that fall in this family category….I am not on board with the old saying “blood is thicker than water, personally I think that is just hogwash!). If you want to see me turn into a pit bull real quick, then mess with my husband or my parents. I have always been quick to jump to my brother’s defense, even when I probably shouldn’t but he’s my brother and I can’t stand to see him hurt. My sister never really needed defending. She was always the type that could handle her own. I always admired that about her, and thus that desire to be a stronger person like her, has partly made me who I am today. For that I am thankful.
I am a flawed individual, but have yet to meet a person that is perfect. I admit that I am flawed but will not apologize for it because it is what makes me who I am. I do the very best that I can in life, and am proud of the person that I am. Even more than that I am thankful for those that the Lord has placed in my life that have helped me, supported me, guided me, loved me, and shaped me into the person that I am today. I don’t stand where I am today on my own merit, and I don’t for one minute take for granted those who have impacted my life the most.
In conclusion, as we are gearing up to hopefully soon become parents, I am so thankful that my child will be blessed with the same people that God has blessed me with to help steer and guide them in their life. I want my child to know that emotions are a good thing; it’s how you deal with them that you have to be aware of. I am not always the best with dealing with my emotions, but life is about learning. I want to raise my children to be able to express themselves. I want them to have the liberty to say what they are feeling, and to always be up front and honest. I want for them to always know that if they are going to say something about someone they need to be willing and able to say it to them, get it off their chest and then move forward. I pray that they have the courage to stand up for what is right and to support others in their lives, as I know they will have tons of support in their lives.
I know this is very random, but it really several independent thoughts jumbled into one. I tried to make sense of each thought but it didn't quite come together as I had intended. None the less it is from my heart.