My kids make my heart melt

I don't want to be all braggy and stuff but I must say that I am blessed far more than I ever deserve with my sons. They are amazing little boys and I love them so deeply that it can be overwhelming. I couldn't imagine loving anything any more than I love my kiddos. I know that there are tons of horror stories out there about bonding and attachment and the "adjustment period". Not every day has been rainbows and sunshine I will admit, but our transition has been nothing shy of amazing. I am amazed at how much more wonderful things are now than they were a year ago...and a year ago I thought they were pretty good. The boys have come such a long way. As a parent of an adopted child, you have to work hard to protect and foster your bond with your child. Prior to adoption, this was a concept that I thought was silly, but being on this side of it I see that it is real. There are certainly things that I wish that I had done differently in the beginning. All and all, I am very blessed. I thank God every single day for my two little boys who truly make my heart melt every day. I am ever so thankful for how sweet their little hearts are. They are two of the most tender hearted little boys and I am so so thankful that they are mine. I need to do better at keeping a record of the sweet things that they say so that when they are teenagers I have their sweet words to hold on to.


Last night I was rocking Daniel to sleep and I told him I would miss him while I was at work. He asked where he was going while I worked, so I told him daddy would be home with him all day. Then he said. "when you work and I stay home with daddy, me and daddy and Noah come to your work and pick you up for lunch. I hope we do that tomorrow. Some days we don't pick you up, you meet us at the eating place. I hope we come pick you up tomorrow...I'll talk to daddy about it in the morning." ...my heart melts.


A few nights ago Noah (who has ended up in the bed with us for months now) rolled over, put his little arm around my neck, snuggled up next to be and said "I love you Mama!". I kissed his head and said "I love you too Noah". Then he said "you da best Mama in da whole world"....all while never a once opening his eyes from his sleep...again, my heart melts.

Valentine's Day

I know I am very far behind, but better late than ever, right? Blogging isn't my problem, it's getting pics off my camera and attached that I have an issue with. I take tons of pictures and to go through them can be a big undertaking so...forgive me for my lack of blogging:)

For those who know me well know that of all holidays, Valentines Day is my least favorite. I am kinda a Valentine's scrooge if you will. Last year, we spent our Valentine's day in Russia...with our two new sons. It kinda revived the holiday which I have come to all but loathe. Valentine's Day is 2 days after our Gotcha Day and now it is the first holiday that we had as a family...so my heart is a little mushier than it normally is on V'day. I love holidays...and now that I am a mother, holidays are 100 times more special to me. Here is our Valentine's Day fun:

For lunch we had heart shaped sandwiches.


I came home from work to one lil' monkey with a rose and giant balloon.
And another with a rose and my favorite candies...and no pants. (when the boys are with daddy for a day there is no telling how they are going to be dressed when I get home:):)

We had made heart shaped ice the day before

And Valentine's cupcakes for Daniel to take to gymnastics the next day

What Valentines Day is complete without chocoalte dipped strawberries...even better when they are dipped my two sweet lil' boys

Frozen raspberry heart ice in our sparkling cider

Noah downing his cider

Daniel and his cider...notice there is no steak left on his plate. This child loves some steak.

and our dessert...hot fudge brownies with rasberries.

Recap 1

Last night we were doing our usual night routine: bath, books, prayer, bedtime. Before prayer I told the boys of the significance of the day and how special that it was to us. When we do prayer time, Benji or I usually say a little prayer first followed by the boys saying the "Now I lay me prayer". Last night after I had said a prayer Daniel said "can I say a special prayer Mama?" I told him that he could say anything that he wanted during prayer time, he didn't have to say the traditional prayer, he could just talk to God just like he talks to Mama and Daddy. So this was his special prayer:
Dear Lord, thank you so much for Mama and Daddy. Thank you for letting them bring me home. I love my Mama and Daddy soooo much! I love my home, and my toys, and my animals, and my clothes, and my bed, and my covers, and my pillow, and my other pillow, and my dresser, and my shoes. Thank you so much for givng me all my things. Thank you for my Noah cause I love him. Thank you for giving me my family. Amen.

I had no words when he was done....just tears. This just seemed to sum it all up for me. We are so beyond blessed to have Daniel and Noah as our sons. The Lord has really given us far more than we ever deserve.

Here are a couple more pics from Russia:

On this day a year ago Noah was feeling a little under the weather so he didn't get to go outside and play. It was the first day that they allowed us to go outside and play. It was sooo wonderful to be outside rather than couped up in the playroom at the orphanage.

Our lil' Noah...I can't believe how much he has grown. Sadly we didn't get many pics with him this day because we didn't have as much time with him.

Daddy and Daniel

Mama and Daniel

One year ago we wene before a Russian judge to be declare the parents of our two precious little boys. Part of me can't believe that it has already been a year but part of me feels like the boys have been with us forever. I have such vivid memories of this day. We had the first court hearing of the day so we had to get up early. We were both a bundle of nerves yet had a very strong sense of peace of what was about to occur. Our coordinaters and translater had heavily prepared us the day before for the court procedings. Benji beared the brunt of court, the men usually do. I felt sorry for him because he was so far out of his comfort zone, but he did amazing. I know there are a lot of stories out there about how horrible court can be. It was a nerve wracking experience but one in which I have very fond memories. We were very fortunate to have the judge that we had. I'll never forget when she came back into the courtroom to render her verdict, she had such a warmth about her. Of course we had not idea what she was saying but our translater looked at us said "She said yes...you are now their parents". It was the most amazing feeling ever. We left court went back to the apartment to change then headed to see our sons. This time we were officially their Mama and Daddy. I know that I posted this pic once before but this is when went back to see them after being declared their Mama and Daddy.

After court we had out 10 day waiting period before we got to take the boys with us. Last year at this time we were not allowed to post pics so over the next few days I'll post pics from our 10 day waiting period. I promise to be a better blogger as we work our way to our Gotcha Day...and I promise Christmas post and pics are coming soon:):)

A little daily devotion....from my heart

A few weeks ago, I started a new bible study at church. This past week our assignment was write down 3-5 things that were of most importance to us in our lives. This was intended to not be what should be the most imporant but rather what we were making the most important in our lives. Pssshhh...easy peasie, right? Not so much! I left class thinking I'll have that done in a matter of minutes. The next day, I went to go on and make my list so that I didn't forget later in the week. I thought it would only take me a couple of seconds. I grab my pen and paper and began to write: 1) Kids 2) Husband...wait...is that really the truth??? I know that it should be 1)God 2) Husband and 3)kids, that is the order that the Lord tells us that we need to put things in our lives...but do we really?? I can without a shadow of a doubt say that I don't. I put my pen down and eally bgan to think about what I am focusing on the most in my life. This easy task became a very complicated one for me in a matter of minutes. So I sit and think...what takes up most of my time? I wanted to see not necessarily what was physically taking a lot of my time, but I wanted to see where my mind was focused. I know that majority of my time is with my kids and I would have that no other way. I have waited long enough for them and been without them long enough that I don't want to spend one unneccessary minute away from them. But I began to realize that they devil was attacking me with one thing that is holding me down and keeping me from putting things in the order that God would like them to be in. In our adoption process, the devil attacked me daily with doubt. He tried every single minute to make me give up and not push through on bringing my kids home. Well...he failed. So now he has begun to get a hold on me in a much different way...one that it took this assignment for me to even see. He attacks me daily with people pleasing. Simple as that, sounds kind of crazy I know. Before becoming a parent there was a lot that didn't really matter much to me so I went with the flow because it was not really a big deal. Since becoming a mother, my priorities have been flipped in a pretty big way and there are things that are highly important to me now that Benji and I didn't deem super important before. The devil has begun to take over my thoughts and make me spend an incredible amount of time worrying about who's going to think what about every single choice that I make. There are times that Benji and I make a choice on how we plan on doing something then in creeps the devil with "you can't do that...it will make this person mad. You can't do that...you my because this person wants you to do it this way". All this is the devil's crafty way of making a mess of the way that the Lord intends for my priorities to be. This has really made me have to sit back and evaluate my life and the people in it. It is going to be a major undertaking but I am determined to get my priorities back in line.
1) God: making sure that I am following and seeking his path for my life daily.
2) My husband: yes I spend plenty of time with my hubby, with the exceptin of work we are usually together. But am I really putting him first? Am I putting his heart first in choices that I make in my life or I am putting other things first because it is easier? I am blessed with an incredibly flexible and understanding husband. Do I take advantage of those wonderful qualities and put him and the things he wants last because he is so easy going? Yep...I do. Is that the way God intended me to be as his wife? Not at all...reckon I really need to get to working on this one and stand firm behind him when he voices his opinions and his desires. I have some work to do here:)
3)My kids: I do pretty good here for the most part. But there are some pretty specific things that I want for my kids and our family. I need to make sure that I stand firm on those things and close my ears to any naysayers...that is where the devil gets me the most. I only have a few years to do the most for my kids. I want to make sure that I am implementing values into them that the Lord has called me to do. I want to be the very best Mother that I can be for my boys. I can't be the best mother until I put the previous 2 in place and quit letting naysayers get the best of me. Those are not the voices of God.
So it is my new mission to completely block out personal attacks because they have really pulled me down lately. I have allowed them into my spirit and it has really effected me in a big way over the past several months. On that same hand..I want to watch myself in that same regard. I don't want to be someone's stumbling block. I don't want to be the devil's handyman and tear others down. So...for accountability sake, I personally will be working my hardest to get my priorities in the order the Lord has called me to put them in, and I will be checking myself for negativity...I want to make sure that I am building others up not tearing them

Mountain fun

We were blessed a little over a year ago to meet a couple that were also in the process of adopting from Russia. We immediately clicked, and now I feel like I have known them all my life. Turns out we ended up adopting our kiddos from the same region about 6 months apart, so we have been in the process pretty much together. It is incredible having them to share this journey with. It is so wonderful to have someone that you can just talk to who shares similiar experiences, and who just knows where you are coming from. I definitely believe that the Lord put our lives together as they will forever be very very dear to us and our families will forever share a special bond. This past weekend we met up for a little weekend getaway to the mountains. We had such a good time and the boys have asked daily to go back to the mountains with Aunt Tara, Uncle Jonathan and "Baby Masha".


We joke that Daniel and Masha are going to marry one day. Don't they make such a cute couple?

Such a special family:)

Three special kiddos born in Russia but destined for the US.A friend once told me "To be a mother means having pieces of your heart walking around outside of your body" (not sure that I quoted that 100% accurately..but thanks Hannah...that quote has stuck with me:). These 2 kiddos are proof that your heart can be outside your body. I absolutely cannnot imagine loving anything more than I love these two boys. They make being a Mama such an easy job.

Anyone that knows us knows that Santa has always been a huge part of our lives. Heck...Santa still comes to see us. My Daddy alwas said "Santa will come as long as you believe"...so by golly I still believe to this day. HA!!! I hope to carry on the wonderful, magical presence of Santa with my boys as my parents did for us. (Not that the birth of Christ is not the center of the season, because it absolutely will be), Santa was just huge for us as a child and I just hope and pray that the boys get that awesome magical feeling that I always had as a child.

I say all that to say...here is our first pic with Santa:):) The boys were so excited over this statue so I know that Christmas is going to be a blast.

Meeting our boys 1 year ago

One year ago today (well actually yesterday but I didn't post this is time) we met our precious boys for the first time. We were so incredibly excited to see and touch what we had fallen in love with a month prior. I'd be lying if I said that the first meeting was this magical moment to where the boys just knew that Daddy and Mama were there. It wasn't like that at all truthfully. They brought the boys into the room while we were in the middle of talking to the doctor. So we sat there for a few moments watching them in awe pulling out toys and playing quietly. We we completely oblivious to anything the doc said...we were seeing or sons for the first time. The boys were quite disconnected from us to say the least...which was hard, but that is part of the process. It took a while before they would let us play with them but before long they opened up to us ever so slightly. I think back on this day one year ago then I think about how far we have come. I stand so in awe of God and all that he has done to get us where we are today. One year ago today, we hugged our boys and truthfully it was like hugging a board. This very morning I got woke up by one crawling in the bed saying "Mama, I need you to snuggle me." There is nothing like coming home from work to two precious boys running, almost knocking me down to get hugs.

God is amazing! I have no other words than just that...God is amazing!

Here is a couple of pics from our the day that we first met our boys:

This was the expression that we got for the first 2 days. There were some occasional smiles, but they were hard to come across.

This is now. (yes I am aware there is a Christmas tree and it is Oct...but I needed a Christmas pic and I just love it...don't judge:)